Embrace the bitter and post your own reviews!

Why I don't care about the box office numbers

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review,    

First, I’ll say that the title is a lie, but the reason why will come later.

There was a day when the common filmgoer public was fascinated with skyrocketing film budgets. The public also passed judgment on the films unjustly before even seeing a trailer, based on the budget. While during this time in the ‘90s I was a hopeful filmmaker the only trouble I saw was that star salaries were increasing exponentially (a factor in budgeting) and it meant that it would soon become impossible to get “star” talent for independent films because with the salary for one star you could make 5 decently budgeted indies. Eventually, the fascination with budgets went away when just about every film was budgeted at hundreds of millions. However, box office numbers still remain as a point of interest.

Read More   

Voice your opinion!

Underrated Films presents: The Chocolate War

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review, The Chocolate War 1988Keith GordonKeith GordonJohn Glover, Ilan Mitchell-Smith Robert Cormier Bitter,Bitterometer,meter The Chocolate War(1988)
 

The teenage years are a tumultuous period where defiance is met by the humiliation of peers. “The Chocolate War” was a controversial 1970’s youth novel by the late Robert Cormier, a study of the institutionalize pack mentality and the price those who defy it pay. In 1988, first time director Keith Gordon (the scrawny actor famous for his “Christine” lead) took Cormier’s book and made an understated, artistically ambitious yet faulty film version that gathered a lukewarm reception. While the film couldn’t quite reach out to a generation that grew in front of John Hughes’ spectacles, “The Chocolate War” found late fanfare driven by Eighties’ nostalgia. A small gem, Keith Gordon’s surrealistic view of adolescent pain, like the characters it follows, perhaps needed time to grow up.

Read More   

Voice your opinion!

The Fighter Punches Bitter Balcony, and We Say Thank You!

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review, The Fighter 2010Paul Tamasy, Eric JohnsonDavid O. RussellMark Wahlberg, Christian Bale Bitter,Bitterometer,meter The Fighter(2010)
 

“The Fighter” is a movie based on boxing brawler "Irish" Mickey Ward, who at the tail-end of his career managed notoriety with a legendary trilogy of fights with John Gotti. However, the title could also apply to director David O. Russell, whose temper and ability to push actors to their limit has caused infamous and documented on-set riffs with George Clooney and Lily Tomlin. Or maybe it can be attributed to Christian Bale, who went bonkers during the “Terminator: Salvation” set over an assistant’s error. The two talented but enraged men finally get to butt heads, and wonderfully, put their ire to good use in bringing Ward’s underdog tale to a hard-hitting, emotionally charged sports film.

Read More   

Voice your opinion!

Black Swan (The White Swan Version). BTY, Winona Ryder is in this, right?

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review, Black Swan 2010Andres Heinz, Mark HeymanDarren AronofskyNatalie Portman, Mila Kunis Bitter,Bitterometer,meter Black Swan(2010)
 

Ballet is the last thing I would ever care to sit myself through. A carousel of pirouettes and flips in an auditorium full of penguin suits and fur vested madams seems a bit snobbish, even when I’m humbled by the wealth of talent these dancers possess. However, mix some blood gashes and hot girls making out and “Swan Lake” suddenly comes down to my level! Darren Aronofsky goes DePalma all over Tchaikovsky, whose classic ballet is turned into this year’s “Rosemary’s Baby,” with “Black Swan.”

Read More   

Voice your opinion!

Black Swan review [Black Swan version]

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review, Black Swan 2010Mark Heyman,Andres HeinzDarren AronofskyMila Kunis,Natalie Portman,Vincent Cassell Bitter,Bitterometer,meter Black Swan(2010)
 

Nina practices ballet real hard. Nina gets role she’s been practicing for. Nina is barely pressured to do a good job. Nina looses it because, well, who freaking knows? Her mom’s an ass and her instructor wants her to do a good job, but there isn’t a reason there beyond Nina’s own neurosis.

Needless to say this Bitter Swan was not impressed. Aronofsky’s decision to direct this in the style of ‘70s horror sounds good on paper, but all we get are some awful shot selection, mediocre lighting, and 20 too many shots of the back of someone’s head while they walk. It’s incredibly uninteresting and bores the audience. It would have been better to direct this in a beautifully shot high art style and had the horror/violence in stark contrast to the rest of the film.

Read More   

Voice your opinion!

Hotties in Haiku: Natalie Portman as Nina Sayers

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review,    



Swan Lake's fragile bird.



Trauma waif on tippy toes.



Cuckoo for tutu.




Read More   

1 Comment

An appeal to Mark Wahlberg about "Uncharted" the movie

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review,    

Dear Mr Mark Wahlberg,

As fans of film, the “Uncharted” video game series and seeing how you ruined “Max Payne” we beg of you to not force yourself into a role you aren’t suited for. Bitter Balcony understands the use of your “star power” to bring in a few extra bucks for a movie you are producing(?), but let’s face it… You aren’t charismatic or young enough to be Nathan Drake in the upcoming “Uncharted” film adaption. The screenplay already sounds like a bastardization of the game’s simple, but functional and entertaining, premise. We would hate for a possibly entertaining film to be total waste because you feel you know best when you might not.

Read More   

2 Comments