Embrace the bitter and post your own reviews!

So the REAL Jack Sparrow shows up at a 9-year old's school... Stop me if you've heard this one.

 

Johnny Depp has become that much cooler. We think it's really great that a star would take this kind of action at the behest of a 9-year old fan. That girl will be talking about this day for the rest of her life with a smile on her face. This is something that makes Bitter Balcony just a tad less bitter. :)

Her request source here.

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"Kill Me Later" No, better to just do it now

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review, Kill Me Later Dana LustigSelma Blair,Max Beesley Bitter,Bitterometer,meter Kill Me Later
 

Shawn (Selma Blair) is taken hostage by bank robber Charlie (Max Beesley) – only she was about to kill herself anyway. Har har. The wit doesn't stop as Charlie generously offers to kill her once he gets away scot-free. And in Hollywood, this means spending time together. And when any man and woman in a shitty film spend more than five minutes together they fall in love. So begins “Kill Me Later.”

Selma Blair is just plain bored in nearly every role she's in. Thankfully, Max Beesley is there to save the day, right? Right? Alas, no. In just two movies, Beesley’s managed to become an actor Bitter Balcony would be happy not to see on film again. There is nothing worse than someone hamming up the charisma he sadly lacks. The accent may by charming to some, but we’re not fooled.

Dana Lustig does what he can with this film, but the cast is tiresome and the screenplay is a snoozer that should have been used as a headrest for kindling. The film reeks of mediocrity – amd we’re being nice.

The soundtrack in “Kill Me Later” distracts from the film (which could almost be a good thing) as it loops far past when it should have stopped.

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What if Hitchcock made "Inception"?

 

Pretty great idea for a fan trailer!

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Hotties in Haiku: Noomi Rapace as Lisbeth Salander

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review,    

Bi-sexual hacker.



Punk-Goth looks, lays mean beat-downs.



And flirts with fire?



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MIFFF recap - Festival review

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review, MIFFF (Maelstrom Independent Fantastic Film Festival)  MIFFF (Maelstrom Independent Fantastic Film Festival)
 

Last weekend the Balcony, well JAS anyway, ventured off the balcony and into the wild. Otherwise known as MIFFF (Maelstrom Independent Fantastic Film Festival). While there we watched a host of short films and 3 feature films. Sadly, we weren't there the entire weekend, but are happy to announce that it was a splendid time with other genre film fans.

Short film topics covered of Horror, Action & Science Fiction, Fantasy and Animated Shorts. Notable entries (of the ones we caught) include:

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R.I.P Sally Menke

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review,    

Bitter balcony sends our heartfelt condolences to the friends and family of Sally Menke. Menke, 56, was Quentin Tarantino's longtime editor and a two-time Oscar nominee for her work in 1995's "Pulp Fiction" and last year's "Inglorious Basterds". She also edited one of our own youth's favorite films "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles". This is a sad day for all Tarantino fans, as he loses his right hand collaborator and a premier female Hollywood talent.

Bitter Balcony will pay a humble homage to Menke by walking in slow motion after a hearty breakfast at our local diner. Rest in Peace, Ms. Menke.

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Interview: Maya Sayre from "Aidan 5"!

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review,    

Maya Sayre whose projects like "Aidan 5" have been mentioned here before has been kind enough to give the Balcony some of her time and answer some questions about being an actress, working on "Aidan 5", "The Icarus II Project" and sci-fi fandom. We have also linked to some of her short films at the end of the review for your viewing pleasure.

Please tell us a bit about yourself.
I'm an actress, a wife, a mother, and a sci fi junkie. I live in Ohio with my family, and I act full time; well, as much as you can in Ohio. Most of my work is in commercials or voice overs, but I'm lucky to have appeared in numerous independent films and web projects. I am totally in love with the process of creating a character, I'm obsessed with science fiction, and I love being able to marry my two passions whenever I can.

We see that you've acted in two 48hr film projects. Can you describe that experience?

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