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Armageddon (1998) [User Review]

 
Armageddon

I wonder why they chose the name Armageddon. They would do this movie more justice by calling it 'The movie where Ben Afleck does a lot of dangerous stuff, survives them and then gets married'. Its also way too predictable and has laughable plot twistings that make you wanna laugh or yawn. Or both. The story is about a big asteroid thats about to crash into the earth and end all life. Willis and Affleck and pals are tasked with saving the earth by blowing it up. Will they be able to manage it? Usually a movie does its best to provide reasonable and believable quests but Armageddon has more seemingly unsurpassable problems than all the Indiana Jones movies together.

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Breaking News: New Captain America comfirmed!!!

 
Chris Evans will wear the Red and Blue

Chris Evans of “The Fantastic Four” fame has been cast as Captain America for the upcoming screen version of the hero directed by Joe Johnston. Here is the link from yahoo to read more about it: http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/movie-talk-chris-evans-wins-captain-america. And don’t worry; Red Skull won’t get cosmetic surgery this time.

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Hotties in Haiku: Jennifer Aniston

 




My Favorite Friend

I watch all your bad movies

But why John Mayer?




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Kristie Alley should be forced into retirement.

 

Random comment of the day:

So this lady can't loose weight and has no career, so she uses her weight to get commercials and tv shows.

Listen sister, you may have had something that attracted the eye at one point, but you're a hack now.

Is there a way to vote people off fame? Or at least force them into retirement?

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We need these comics made into films like, now!

 
We need these comics made into films like, now!

We at the balcony love comic book movies, even the bad ones (it’s an easy source for our brand of bashing), and our good pals in Hollywood are more than happy to oblige. While the Holy Trinity of the comic universe, Batman, Superman, and Spiderman, are still in the pre-production stages for their new screen incarnations, we have several other heroes coming to a theater near you: Iron Man, Conan, Green Hornet, Thor and Green Lantern just to name a few. All these characters have or will spun franchises, obviously film producers’ favorite thing besides decaf, skim milk mocha chinos.

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Hot Women in Superhero Outfits leave our Nerd Hearts all Warmed Up!!!

 
Hot Women in Superhero Outfits leave our nerd hearts all warmed up!!!

Yes, Bitter Balcony is run by geeks. I mean, this is comic book week, and soon we are planning our tribute to DOS (I see a review of War Games and its famous chess match on the horizon). But we are also men, and if you have seen our homage to the fairer sex in our weekly hotties in haiku, somewhat sexually starved ones (We wrote a haiku about a blue alien warrior princess and Brad Pitt in a dress, so things are staring to get desperate for your bitter pals).

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Hey, We Have The Trailer for Iron Man 2!!! What, You've seen it already? Damn Bloggers!

 
Lookout: Iron Man 2

Well, there isn’t much to say about this one, but for our Bitter Balcony comic week bonanza, we can’t think of a bigger film for 2010. By now, all you guys have seen and more than likely anticipate the return of Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) in “Iron Man 2”. By the looks of the trailer, this movie has all we can ask for: the bad-ass faux Russian accent heel Whiplash (Mickey Rourke), a faux Russian accent major babe Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson), and some pretty cool new armor suits for Iron Man and War Machine (Don Cheadle).

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