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Was the long trip down The Road worth it?

The Road (2009)

We’ve finally traveled down the ash-covered road and we’ve come back to tell you about it.

“The Road” has been a long time coming, but it’s worth the wait. The casting is superb and the story, based on Cormac McCarthy’s novel by the same name, is a very effective story. Direction is solid and the score sets the correct tone for the film.

You know it’s coming right?

Your assumptions are correct.

There’s a big, fat “BUT!”



Muppets gone viral!?! (Bohemian Rhapsody)


This video went viral yesterday (or the day before) and we tried to ignore it, but its charm ultimately won us over. :)

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!


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Site troubles! Let us know if they are still happening.


We had a few issues earlier, but thanks to this 2:30AM troubleshooting it seems to have been resolved. Let us know if you get some kind of troubles like links not working and such.

Email: jas [at] bitterbalcony [dot] com


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Underrated films presents: Primer (2004)

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review, Primer 2004 Bitter,Bitterometer,meter Primer(2004)

Underrated films presents: Primer (2004)

There are movies that entertain with action, some that entertain with comedy, and there is the rare movie that makes you think. Yes, there are some of us who find the act of thinking entertaining. We’re the ones who find pop-culture movies about lame vampires in love with personality-less high school chicks unbearable. People who watch explosion after explosion while special effects cover every inch of the screen are a little boring. “Primer” is that rare movie that entertains while it makes you think – and does so without gimmicks or a multi-trillion dollar budget.

2004’s “Primer” was shot for a mere $7,000, yet still manages to draw you in and keep you guessing. “Primer” also has the rare distinction of being one of those movies that changes every time you watch it. Having seen the movie three times, we can confirm that it will change at least that many times. To think this was done while focusing on only two characters and a handful of locations, means that we’re watching a movie that is well written and well directed.



D**ked with "The Box": Bitter Balcony Needed Coffee To Get Through This Richard Kelly Bore-Fest!!!

The Box

One-hit wonder Richard Kelly and his damned time portals return with “The Box.” Kelly, who followed 2001's cult classic "Donnie Darko" with the ambitious, yet unfocused and poorly executed "Southland Tales" in 2006, attempts to connect with a wider audience with this thriller that about a middle-class family in 1976 Virginia. Norma Lewis (Cameron Diaz) is a literature teacher who is affected by budget cuts, while her NASA engineer husband Arthur’s (James Mardsen) goal of becoming an astronaut suffers a setback when he is rejected by the higher-ups. As the couple raises their precocious and ill son Walter (Sam Oz Stone), how will they be able to afford their suburban paradise?


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Twilight: New Moon - Romance without a pulse

Twilight: New Moon (2009)

The Bitter Balconites joked about bringing booze to “The Twilight Saga: New Moon” and taking a shot every time we thought the movie sucked, but the idea of dying from alcohol poisoning within the first 15 minutes didn’t sound so great. Unfortunately, the pool that is “Twilight” is as shallow as its characters and I split my skull open upon diving in. The rest of this review is written from the hospital bed. What’s contained in this review is probably half of what is wrong with this film.

Holy Pacing! A good 10-15 minutes go by before a character speaks three words – pauses for 5 seconds – and then utters the next three words their character has to say. What are these characters thinking about so much inbetween words? The whole “back at school” thing is pretty slow and the timing screams, “nap time!”



Moving Pictures Presents: Hotties in Haiku - Salma Hayek [User Review]


I have felt true love

Ever since Desperado.

God bless Rodriguez

This has been a special presentation from Moving Pictures: Haiku Film Reviews.

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