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Iron Man 2 - a big big pot of chicken casserole [User Review] [User Review]

 
Iron Man,Bitter Balcony, review, movie revieww, movie, bitterIron Man 2 (2010)

Chicken Casserole! With onions, carrots, potatos, kumara, coli flower, capsicums, chillies, tomatos, cheese...

Iron Man 2 is like a big pot of stew. It is big, colourful, fun, and has a lot of everything in it. And honestly, tastes not too bad.

Closely following the first movie, Tony Stark returns as Iron Man, more arrogant, more proud and more playboy-ish. The Iron Man suits has multiple versions now, they are neatly hang-up and comes in different colors. I am sure everyone knows that the suit comes in a foldup version too, so he can have a little superhero experience when on the go. Unlike Superman or Spiderman, those dudes need to wear that uncomfortable elastic dresses under their day to day jackets; Iron Man is right up there with all the supermodels and hot journalists, he can't afford to have any skin rashes around crotch area.

4 Comments

Ponyo - Underrated & Under-Advertised [User Review] [User Review]

 
Ponyo Movie review Bitter BalconyFor most of Bitter Balcony’s readers hearing about "Ponyo" might not be exactly what they are hoping to read. However, I was impressed this heartwarming and highly creative Miyazaki film captures and expressively displays the joyful essence of youthful imagination.

Sure, it made it to the big screen. I saw the poster and I admit, I quickly forgot about the film.

Getting a moment to sit down and dedicate time towards watching a “kids movie” is time that is hard to come by. However if you enjoyed "My Neighbor Totoro" you will find that "Ponyo" and her cute habits are a great compliment to that sort of experience.

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Class of 1984: Cult Crap from the eightees at it's best! [USER REVIEW] [User Review]

 
Bitter Balcony, Clash of the Titans, 1984, Clash of the Titan reviewClass of 1984 (1982)

Wow. Just wow! This movie was so phenomenally bad that it’s great.

Class of 1984 has it all: nonsensical script, bad acting, gratuitous violence and things that blow up for no good reason. I’m not exaggerating; it has the best, awfulest exploding car crash I have ever seen. I should warn you that there are spoilers ahead, but it really doesn’t matter. You have to witness it yourself to be able to fully enjoy the crapulence.

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Date Night [USER REVIEW] [User Review]

 

Date Night

I went to see "Date Night" despite the fact that Mark Walberg is in it. I still haven’t forgiven him for "The Happening" or "Max Payne". After being in two of the worst movies I have ever seen in my life you can’t blame me for blaming him for all that is wrong with cinema.

First we have the ironically named "Happening" which was so bad that it made me think "Get Smart" was the best movie ever. Not that "Get Smart" was a horrible movie, it was okay, but the reason I found it so wonderful is that I snuck into it after watching "The Happening" since I desperately needed something to get the taste of crapulence out of my mouth. Then after that he does "Max Payne".

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Clash of the Titans - Lazy pizza base with fried rice topping [User Review]

 

Clash of Titan was a serve of pizza with fried rice topping. I was intrigued, expected, then confused, felt cheated and ripped off, and left with unsatisfied anger.

It came as a breeze of junkfood addiction at the beginning, after the all Oscar fuzz and enthusiasm. After the run-down country singers, the homeless huge black kid, a terminal father walking with know-nothing son, I thought some brain less sugar won’t hurt. Being not a big avatar fan, and seeing Alice’s total cardboard screwup, and before Iron Man really arrives to scratch the itch, we have Clash of Titan. Right? Right?

Clash of Titan promised a lot of things. It has epic story tell (Gladiator and Troy), the gods and their super powers (Xmen), Greek warriors and their tummy (300), the Titan (King Kong and Hulk) and 3D CGI (yeah, right). And you also have Sam, throughout the movie wearing no pants.

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Armageddon (1998) [User Review]

 
Armageddon

I wonder why they chose the name Armageddon. They would do this movie more justice by calling it 'The movie where Ben Afleck does a lot of dangerous stuff, survives them and then gets married'. Its also way too predictable and has laughable plot twistings that make you wanna laugh or yawn. Or both. The story is about a big asteroid thats about to crash into the earth and end all life. Willis and Affleck and pals are tasked with saving the earth by blowing it up. Will they be able to manage it? Usually a movie does its best to provide reasonable and believable quests but Armageddon has more seemingly unsurpassable problems than all the Indiana Jones movies together.

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Howard The Duck (1986) - "Duck" this one [User Review]

 
Howard the Duck (1986)

It's not just that HOWARD THE DUCK is a bad movie. That would be fine -- I love "bad" movies, savoring them the way a connoisseur might linger over a fine wine, porterhouse steak, or other delicacy. Bad movies are my life to a degree: GALAXY OF TERROR, WEB OF THE SPIDER, Spaghetti Westerns, Turkish made super hero ripoffs with guys running around in skeleton suits, Mexican wrestling horror with some freak in a silver mask fighting vampire babes. Love 'em.

The problem with HOWARD THE DUCK has to do with proportions. You might even say "Less is More" when it comes to a good grade C minus movie, especially if it manages to leave you wanting more. With HOWARD, you want less. Far less.

6 Comments