Embrace the bitter and post your own reviews!

"Hanna" kicks our ass and we like it!

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review, Hanna 2011Seth Lochhead,David FarrJoel WrightCate Blanchett,Eric Bana,Saoirse Ronan Bitter,Bitterometer,meter Hanna(2011)
 

The trailer popped out of nowhere. I hadn't heard of this film until days before its release, but once I saw it I was intrigued.

"Hanna" is a film about a young girl who is trained by her father to be an adept killer. They live in the forest alone. He fights with her with no signs of holding back and the girl kicks ass. Eventually, after several attempts at telling her father that she is ready, he offers her a beacon. Once she flips the switch the American government picks it up and and comes to take them back to civilizatiothey unfortunately, they want Hanna's father bad. Hanna's mission is to kill Marissa, a CIA agent, coincidentally in charge of requiring Hanna's father.

Saoirse Ronan is charismatic and plays the character of Hanna exceedingly well. She shows the wonder of a girl who has never been a part of civilization without sacrificing the threat of the killer that she is. When she needs to kick ass it happens quickly and fiercely. Eric Bana plays the father and his action scenes show where Hanna learned her skills. Cate Blanchett plays a CIA agent going rogue well, but her character is barely developed.

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The Time Traveler’s Wife or How I learned to give up on a real relationship and love the guy who abandons me repeatedly

 

“The Time Traveler’s Wife”

This review will be handled a little differently than most of the others. It will start off with the movie from the perspective of a woman and then from the perspective of a man. Then I’ll tie the whole thing together with a bitter rant about romance. Ready? I sure hope so…

From a man’s POV:

It’s obvious that a woman would want the unattainable. Clare is probably thinking that “she” can be The One - The One to keep him in one place, er time, because she is THAT special and their bond is sooo… yaaaaawn.

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UN-Funny People

 
Funny People

Good evning y’all! This afternoon I’ll be teachin ya how to make an Apatow/Sandler stew.

This is a combination of two stews. The recently popular Apatow stew and the time-tested Sandler stew. Each one has their mandatory ingredients. These ingredients make the stews we expect, but is a combination of the two a good one? We’ll see.

Apatow stew requires the following:
3 cup – Penis jokes
1/3 cup – Fart jokes
2 Cups – Seth Rogen not getting laid jokes
1 tablespoon - Bad acting and typical scripting of Jonah Hill’s dialog
5 Tablespoons – Rogen having friends that give him pointers on getting laid.
At least 1 Cup – Mention of Rogen loosing weight

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