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How amazing is The Amazing Spiderman?

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review, The Amazing Spiderman 2012James VanderbiltMarc WebbAndrew Garfield,Emma Stone,Rhys Ifans,Martin Sheen,Sally Field,C. Thomas Howell,Denis Leary,Julianne Nicholson,Campbell Scott,Irrfan Khan Bitter,Bitterometer,meter The Amazing Spiderman(2012)
 

After many COUGH not many enough COUGH long years we finally get that “Spiderman” reboot that we didn’t really ask for or want. Admittedly, the four-minute trailer really gave us the impression that this movie, while a tad unwelcome, would at least be well made. All of that aside the real question is was the final result good and worth the short wait?

The story of Peter Parker’s path to becoming Spiderman is one we all know and saw a few years back. We know the steps we have to take to get there. The radioactive spider has to bite him and the death of his Uncle Ben acts as a catalyst. We’ve seen it before and this film gives us pretty much the same we’ve seen before. This time around you have Kurt Connors and his eventual alter ego The Lizard to deal with.

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Wall Street: We had to go back 24 years to find a good Charlie Sheen movie, that's how much we care!

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review, Wall Street 1987Stanley Weiser,Oliver StoneOliver StoneMichael Douglas,Charlie Sheen Bitter,Bitterometer,meter Wall Street(1987)
 

Charlie Sheen is one of the lucky men in the world to have the blood lineage of a mythological deity, but even rarer than Sheen’s potent DNA is finding a movie with him that’s actually GOOD. Yes, Sheen can bring orgasmic bliss to hookers on cocaine binges before storing them in the closets of hotel rooms, but when it comes to the quality of his work, he might as well have gerbil blood. Fortunately for Sheen, the handsome, cocky punk with a slick mouth that he is became the muse for director Oliver Stone during his glory days, before acid flashbacks and voices in his head yelling “Charlie” got the best of the renegade director. 1987’s “Wall Street” is a great American film about the intricacies of the Stock Trade, as well as a classic morality tale about the limits of excessiveness.

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Spawn... me a pill to forget this movie!

 

Spawn (1997)

Lets start off nice. This movie is bad. Whoops! I slipped.

The screenplay for this film (adapted from the comic by Alan B. McElroy) is a horrible mess. Spawn didn’t have the deepest of storylines, but it was effective in the comic. Adapting this comic should have been a cinch, but it was slaughtered in the attempt to make it commercially viable and entertaining. There are nonsensical changes, too much of Clown, too little of Violator, no dramatic elements to Spawn and don’t get me started on Malebolgia.

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