Embrace the bitter and post your own reviews!

“Meat Market” is one of those terrible examples of a poorly made indie films that just so happens to be 90+ minutes long and qualifies for feature film status. What’s worse is that Netflix sees it fit to negotiate for streaming rights. Short of a long rant, this means that Netflix will stream anything that qualifies as a feature film no matter how bad it is.

“Meat Market” is an elementary example of filmmaking at best. The "film makers" of this film take the zombie genre and make it as cheesy in it’s poor DV style as it could be. This even includes an extremely poor monologue-ish moment with a guy who says, “fuck,” thirty-too-many times. Honestly, it's quite embracing.

The performances, editing, writing and directing are so sub-par we couldn’t suggest this poor excuse for a film even as a joke. There are gratuitous boob shots, but again, so poorly done we can only hope for death before the end of the scene arrives.

We could go on for paragraphs on how terrible this film is, but why bother? This film is horrid. Everyone involved is terrible. The only reason to watch this film is if you hate yourself so much you want to drive yourself to suicide.

Presence review

Taking a break from her workaday life so she can focus on writing, the nameless female protagonist (Mira Sorvino) in "Presence" visits her grandmother's cabin in the middle of nowhere. She slowly discovers that her desired solitude is invaded by a ghost in the house who watches her every move and a surprise visit from her boyfriend. The seemingly benign ghost discovers that there is something else in the house – and this could spell doom for them all.

It's difficult to write about “Presence” without giving away important details. The tale by Tom Provost gives a new angle to what hauntings might be like when the dead aren’t aware of their state of existence yet. So think of “Presence” in terms of a ghost story with thriller elements. And here’s a tip: when a ghost seems slightly afraid of what else might be in the house, you know there's some trouble ahead.

This is either the worst movie in the world or the greatest thing ever created! You be the judge!

Are you ready kids? I can't heeeeeeeeear you? Well, here it is anyway. A trailer you won't remember by the time the sun has risen. Not only is the title of those trash super lame, but the cast seems act as poorly as the evidence of direction.

Here is a proposed rewrite to the heart wrenching scene when the main characters might split in the trailer.

Guy, "If I stay here I'll hurt you." (also known as the worst reading of a single sentence by an actor all year)

Chic, "If you stay here I'm gonna kick you in the nuts!"

Just an idea. Just throwin' it out there. Ya know who B.B. rolls.