Embrace the bitter and post your own reviews!

Alice in Snoozerland

 

Alice in Wonderland (2010)

Alice in Wonderland, Tim Burton, Bitter Balcony, Johnny Depp, Mia Wasikowska, Helena Bohnam Carter, Crispin Glover, Alan Rickman, Anne Hathaway, Disney

It's likely you've already heard other reviewers bashing "Alice in Wonderland" for a number of reasons. For Bitter Balcony, the film was an absolute snore – yet that's something we haven't seen mentioned in reviews often enough.

"Alice" begins in our heroine's childhood nightmares about falling down a rabbit hole. Flash forward and now she's a rebel going against the in status quo. No corset? The nerve. Alice spends the entire movie arguing against her battle against the Jabberwocky, only to ultimately fulfill it. Did we just spoil it? No. As with any Disney film, good always triumphs.

There are plenty reviewers panning performances, but it's the piss-poor screenplay (adapted by Linda Woolverton) that doesn't develop any of the two-dimensional characters and fails to entertain. Partial blame goes to Burton, as he should have stepped in and used his influence to get a better script.

The shot selection ranges from mediocre to poor. The pacing of the film is so blatantly linear that this reviewer found himself drifting off almost to sleep on three occasions.

Alice in Wonderland, Tim Burton, Bitter Balcony, Johnny Depp, Mia Wasikowska, Helena Bohnam Carter, Crispin Glover, Alan Rickman, Anne Hathaway, Disney

The score is either too "Batman" or too forgettable and that's particularly sad since the Burton/Elfman team was a good choice.

Burton slays a remake – which is beginning to become typical. Tweedledee, Tweedledum and Blue Caterpillar, to name a few, are poorly designed and poorly rendered. The Mad Hatter is a joke. Depp is acting his way into laugh-ability - and not because he's funny. Alice, the two queens and the rest of the cast have no meat to chew on, so they basically just rattle off their uninspired lines as they're paid to do.

The biggest offense is that "Alice in Wonderland" is just too uninspired and boring to get us involved or keep us entertained. We give this three Lewis Carroll rolls in his grave.

The following is more of our preferred, much more honest, dialog for the film:

Alice in Wonderland, Tim Burton, Bitter Balcony, Johnny Depp, Mia Wasikowska, Helena Bohnam Carter, Crispin Glover, Alan Rickman, Anne Hathaway, Disney

Alice in Wonderland, Tim Burton, Bitter Balcony, Johnny Depp, Mia Wasikowska, Helena Bohnam Carter, Crispin Glover, Alan Rickman, Anne Hathaway, Disney

Alice in Wonderland, Tim Burton, Bitter Balcony, Johnny Depp, Mia Wasikowska, Helena Bohnam Carter, Crispin Glover, Alan Rickman, Anne Hathaway, Disney

Images:

Alice in Wonderland, Tim Burton, Bitter Balcony, Johnny Depp, Mia Wasikowska, Helena Bohnam Carter, Crispin Glover, Alan Rickman, Anne Hathaway, Disney Alice in Wonderland, Tim Burton, Bitter Balcony, Johnny Depp, Mia Wasikowska, Helena Bohnam Carter, Crispin Glover, Alan Rickman, Anne Hathaway, Disney Alice in Wonderland, Tim Burton, Bitter Balcony, Johnny Depp, Mia Wasikowska, Helena Bohnam Carter, Crispin Glover, Alan Rickman, Anne Hathaway, Disney Alice in Wonderland, Tim Burton, Bitter Balcony, Johnny Depp, Mia Wasikowska, Helena Bohnam Carter, Crispin Glover, Alan Rickman, Anne Hathaway, Disney Alice in Wonderland, Tim Burton, Bitter Balcony, Johnny Depp, Mia Wasikowska, Helena Bohnam Carter, Crispin Glover, Alan Rickman, Anne Hathaway, Disney

Trailer:

Official website:

Alice in Wonderland

Credits:

Directed by: Tim Burton
Written by: Linda Woolverton Book: Lewis Carroll
Cast: Johnny Depp, Mia Wasikowska, Helena BohnaM Carter, Anne Hathaway, Crispin Glover, Alan Rickman





Source of the Bitter: JAS

Comments, rants and other stuffs below
http://allmoviesearch.com (not verified) on Fri, 04/02/2010 - 2:13pm

Alice in Wonderland film is good but it will not be a classic. There were many good points including the art design/direction, the performance of a few outstanding actors, and the smart and refreshing story and direction of the film but sadly it was strewn with mediocrity.

JAS on Fri, 04/02/2010 - 5:30pm

I agree with the last part, but was underwhelmed by the majority of the movie. This is despite the fact that I expected hoped for better considering the talent involved.

JAS on Wed, 03/10/2010 - 9:38am

The best part of Alice was the Tron trailer. That was the beginning and the end of my being entertained.

JAS on Sun, 03/07/2010 - 6:43pm

I think to be a film fan in recent history you have to be a bit of a glutton for punishment. We keep drinking that Cool-Aide hoping this time it'll be something other than poison.

Que on Mon, 03/08/2010 - 1:18am

mum always said, shit in a gift wrap is still shit. she also said something like tripped twice over the same spot being stupid or something.

I'd say, junk movie is like drugs. You finished it with that sadness, a bit of regret and emptiness in your head, you told yourself no more, but still once again you will go back to the shit because of the gift wrap.

we are like the fish in the dirty pond. we know the water is polluted but we can't just turn ourselves into reptiles just yet.

JAS on Mon, 03/08/2010 - 8:55am

Motherly advice, rehab inspiration, philosophy, and evolution! That comment has it all! :)

Que on Sun, 03/07/2010 - 12:57pm

we know that long time ago, that people will still go to this movie regardless what we say about how bad this movie is. human are attracted to the colours and costumes.

havn't we made same mistakes all these times, going to a movie knowing it will suck but still went anyway?

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