Clash of the Titans (2010)
“Clash of the Titans," is a movie with a title that makes no sense. Where the hell are the titans? Last I checked, this was about gods and humans – post titan rule. It seems like none of the 300+ rewrites that these damn screenplays go through don’t really ever get read. There are plot holes and mistakes the size of Greece herself.
We’ll try not let our bitterness get the best of us, but as one of the few movies we were foolishly looking forward to seeing, we are ashamed to have paid for this crap.
Let's start with this Hades vs Zeus B.S. Zeus is not the Christian god and Hades is not Lucifer. Get it? Two totally different religions. Hades is the brother of Zeus and is just another god (he’s the god of the underworld, but he’s not necessarily evil).
Perseus is a demigod, half-god half-man, whose surrogate family is killed by Hades. Perseus is thrown into a journey to bring down the Kraken, which in 10 days will destroy this island/kingdom. You know the drill, even though it’s never mentioned EVER in Greek mythology for some reason the gods “need” our prayers. However did they survive before Prometheus created us?
Sam Worthington’s little “Braveheart” speech scene is getting rather boring. This is the third movie in a row where he gives a stupid inspirational speech (one more before he's placed in the “lame” category). The rest of the cast does what they have to do. The only role, short as it is, that sort of stands out is “Casino Royale” villain himself Mads Mikkelsen. Not sure why, but he exuded a subtle coolness that was hard to ignore – even in this flat role.
There are some errors in this film that make me want to personally fire any writer and/or producer who had their hand in this stinkfest of a script.
- First of all, the lame Golden Owl joke.
- Second the fact that someone who is cursed with IMMORTALITY can die from getting shanked with a sword. It’s not a curse if she could have killed herself to get out of it.
- What about this one? Zeus says he created man. Sure, I expected a certain level of edits to the mythology, but Prometheus is the creator of man.
- Then there’s the Jinn. SIGH. Medusa can only turn men to stone in this film. Get that? Then why the FRAK does the Kraken turn to stone? The Jinn didn’t.
- Let’s not forget the black Pegasus. Why black? Was there ever one in the mythology that was?
Three writers for this crap and these mistakes get through. You should all be ashamed of yourselves!
We can go on and on, but we’ll cut it short. What is the moral of the story? We hope Hades does exist and he has reserved an especially hot place in the Tartarus for jackass filmmakers/screenwriters who make and remake crap like this. Go see the original. It’s infinitely better, as is the design.
Directed by: Louis Leterrier
Written by: Travis Beacham, Phil Hay, Matt Manfredi Original by: Beverley Cross
Cast: Sam Worthington, Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes, Mads Mikkelsen, Alexa Davalos