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Godzilla - Size Just Didn't Matter [User Review]

 

Godzilla(or in this case Zilla, as the Japs prefer to call him) was the ultimate culmination of the "who cares about plot" summer movie. A very loose remake of the 1954 "classic", and by that I mean zero adherence to the source, Japanese monster movie, Godzilla, King of the Monsters (which is itself pretty thin in the story department), Roland Emmerich and Dean Devlin's big- budget lizard-stomps-Manhattan disaster flick has been written with the brain dead in mind. The script isn't just "dumbed down," it's lobotomized, and Godzilla lives and dies on special effects alone.

Godzilla isn't completely without merit, although it is close. There's a certain visceral thrill inherent in watching the giant lizard rip his way through Manhattan, but it wears off quickly. Frankly, while the special effects were competent for it's time, they weren't all that stunning. There's nothing new here; it's Jurassic Park meets Aliens, with a little Independence Day thrown in for bad measure. Godzilla never really pushes the envelope, preferring to remain within a comfort zone. The imagination of monster movies like King Kong has been replaced by a crass, formulaic approach which disallows creativity.

Worst of all, Godzilla isn't even exciting, and if Raptor-Sized baby Godzilla's weren't boring enough, there were a few key scenes that were taken straight from "Jurassic Park". Obviously this film owed more to Jurassic Park than Godzilla itself. With the possible exception of a mildly enjoyable car chase near the end, there isn't a sequence in this film that raises the pulse. Even the scenes with dozens of aircraft attacking the monster are so devoid of tension and suspense that they are yawn-provoking. Independence Day may have been dumb, but it was full of "adrenaline moments" capable of getting the audience involved in the action. In this aspect of its production, as in so many others, Godzilla is lacking. Actually, part of the problem is that we're never sure who we're supposed to be rooting for: the green monster with an attitude or the paper-thin humans trying to stop him.

The plot, or lack there of, can be summed up rather simply. After sinking a few ships and leaving some footprints on tropical islands, Godzilla shows up in the Big Apple. He does some of the usual tourist things: stops by Madison Square Garden, visits the Chrysler Building, goes on a walk through Central Park, and takes the subway. In the process, he knocks over a few buildings and steps on countless cabs, but he never has trouble with traffic jams. On hand to stop him is an elite U.S. army unit, led by a slightly less-arrogant-than-usual military man (Kevin Dunn) and a biologist named Nick Tatopoulos, who has a theory about Godzilla. In his opinion, the big guy is actually a lizard grown to enormous proportions as a result of the radiation given off by French atomic bomb tests in the South Pacific. In Nick's words, Godzilla is "a mutated aberration… An incipient creature… The first of its kind." As luck would have it, Nick's old girlfriend, Audrey (Maria Pitillo), is a reporter based at a New York TV station. Along with her cameraman friend, Animal (Hank Azaria), she decides to follow Nick around as he trails Godzilla. Then, just when the military has rejected Nick's theory about why Godzilla is in New York, a member of the French Secret Service (Jean Reno) recruits him for a special assignment. How ridiculous, the french helping the Americans?!

Instead of stomping around Tokyo this time, Godzilla has chosen New York City. Unfortunately, Manhattan has been destroyed so many times during recent disaster movies (Independence Day, Deep Impact, Armageddon) that it became boring. The whole tradition of monsters roaming around the city started with King Kong, but the big ape was only about 30 feet tall. He could climb the Empire State Building. At ten times that height, Godzilla would be more likely to knock it over, but he fits inside tunnels, and humps over buildings the same time!

Godzilla contains a few lame attempts at humor. There's an ongoing feud between Animal and his wife that plays like sit-com material, an unfunny and repetitive gag about how no one can pronounce Nick's last name properly, the wormy guy. And a rather tame attack on film critics Roger Ebert and Gene Siskel. Both of the popular personalities have alter egos in the film: "Ebert," the mayor of New York, is played by Michael Lerner, and "Gene" (Lorry Goldman) is his campaign manager. Ebert's re-election slogan is, not surprisingly, "Thumbs Up for New York." The Siskel/Ebert stuff is amusing the first time it's used, but, after a while, it grows tiresome. And, although the "characters" don't serve any real purpose, they keep popping up.

Godzilla is saddled with an unimpressive cast. This is largely because Emmerich doesn't want to risk a human performance upstaging his lizard. That's not to say that Matthew Broderick and Jean Reno aren't capable of good performances (both have done their share of solid acting in the past), but they aren't A-list names. Then again, considering the quality of the writing, even Pacino and DeNiro would have been hard-pressed to shine. Maria Pitillo (Dear God) plays the love interest and Hank Azaria (Great Expectations) is on hand to present what is supposed to be comic relief.

To quote the NostalgiaCritic and Matthew Broderick, this can be summed up in a few words.

"THAT'S A LOT OF FISH!"

Credits:

Directed by: Roland Emmerich
Written: Dean Devlin, Roland Emmerich
Cast: Matthew Broderick, Jean Reno, Maria Pitillo, Hank Azaria, Harry Shearer





Source of the Bitter: RetroGuy09

Comments, rants and other stuffs below
JAS on Fri, 10/02/2009 - 10:50pm

Good job on the review RetroGuy09!

I'll have to watch this disaster again and chime in on my thoughts on it. ;)

RetroGuy09 on Thu, 12/24/2009 - 10:01am

Love looking back at all the past attempts at film making.

JAS on Thu, 12/24/2009 - 2:57pm

Both the good and the bad. Sometimes the bad is really bad though. :)