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I've Been BFF'D Big Time! Jennifer's Body LOL Review!


Jennifer's Body“Jennifer’s Body” will be remembered as the first screenplay ever written on Twitter. At least that's how desperately this movie's dialogue tries to identify with the BFF generation. Whatever wit “Jennifer’s Body” has is drowned by Megan Fox reciting lines such as "that's so emo" or "player hater" (along those lines, I'm an old man).

Unfortunately, screenwriter Diablo Cody gets to have more than the allowed 140 Twitter characters, leaving director Karyn Kusama to scavenge around this wannabe cult film with a script meant for Sarah Michelle Gellar back in her “Buffy” days and the acting prowess of Ms. Fox.

Kusama gives it the old college try in this horror story about two high school friends, the aforementioned Ms. Fox as bratty, promiscuous cheerleader Jennifer and Needy, the nerdy goodie played by the talented and equally pretty Amanda Seyfried (note to producers: a hot girl will remain hot with or without glasses). The friendship between Jennifer and Needy seems to be an enigma to the students in the all-too-wickedly named Devil's Kettle High (the name comes form the town's cascade where everything that falls in is never found).

While Jennifer gets her kicks inducing boys' hard-ons, Needy has a pleasant relationship with nice-guy Chip (Johnny Simmons). Needy is the cautious guardian for Jennifer, while the wild-child cheerleader entices the timid Needy to step outside her boundaries. The latter is exhibited when the girls go a the local dive bar to catch big-city indie rockers Shoulder Tap, lead by Nikolai Wolf, played by Adam Brody (who has taken over James Spader's ‘80s throne as this decade's resident dick). A horrible fire breaks out at the bar, leaving lots of dead teenagers in the flames and survivors Needy and Jennifer to figure out what to do next. Nikolai and his band offer the girls a ride, and against Needy's wishes, Jennifer jumps in the van. Later than night, Needy has a strange and gross encounter with her best friend who is covered in blood and vomiting a substance that looks like black tar.

As the school grieves over the fire tragedy, headed by teacher Mr. Wroblewski (J.K Simmons), Jennifer's already aloof behavior gets more extreme and callous, leaving Needy to wonder what those Hot Topic poster boys did to her BFF. Jennifer, by the way, has never looked better, and the sexually charged vixen is finally giving those boys who have wanted her so badly a taste. Little do they know, her appetite for them is more literal than their hormones could have predicted. I guess if you have to be devoured by a succubus, it might as well be Megan Fox.

Other things happen but nothing you couldn't figure out if you have seen “The Faculty” or “Disturbing Behavior” - then again maybe you might be surprised since “Jennifer’s Body” could rekindle bad memories from those forgettable movies.

Obviously, besides heralding Diablo Cody's name on the movie's poster, the main attraction is Megan Fox in her first role that requires her to be more than a mesmerizing image that keeps you on the edge of your seat until Optimus Prime decides to show up. There seems to be a certain build-up for Ms. Fox to take up the mantle left by Angelina Jolie 10 years ago as the exotic, edgy starlet. The problem is that Ms.Jolie had legitimate acting chops and more of a willingness to push the envelope than Ms. Fox, at least at this point. To be fair, to completely judge Ms. Fox's acting in such a bad movie would not be right, but if this is the trend of her roles, I could see a nice career in a CBS sitcom as the hot wife of some fat, washed up comedian. The rest of the cast is all right, and Ms. Seyfried could be the new Michelle Williams - a solid young actress who one day will laugh that she was part of this.

Karyn Kusama, who made a strong debut with “Girlfight” (and regretfully brought us Michelle Rodriguez), does have talent and vision, but she gets boxed in directing these lame movies just because the leads are women who can kick men's asses. That's all good, but can the material match her talent?

“Jennifer’s Body” is shot well, not to mention some interesting ideas for Needy’s flashbacks and thoughts. I also think Kusama tried to explore the tension between the two girls, and not just for the much-anticipated make-out scene, but the scene in the bar where Needy breaks off from Jennifer's grip. This examination could have been more intriguing and worthy of cult following if she would have pushed it forward and dropped all the non-sense Ms. Cody inked.

Before anyone calls me a "hater", I want to say that I do have an appreciation for Ms. Cody. Her rags-to-riches story is to be admired. I've read about her interests and influences, she is a smart woman and good for her that she won an Oscar. However, I think her writing is vastly overrated. Can she construct a story? Sure, but for me, all the characters speak in the same "I'm so much more clever than you" tone that wears thin quick. At least “Juno” had an affable nature to it, but “Jennifer’s Body” is so hostile and overdone that actually makes you wish this film were made in the silent era. I was a teenager once and I don't remember anybody at that age having a smartass remark at every given moment. As for the originality Ms. Cody was supposed to bring to the horror genre, “Jennifer’s Body” holds no fresh revelations. I will thank Ms. Cody, nonetheless, for enlightening America's youth by writing a scene where an enraged Needy defines the word “crass” to her fellow schoolmates. If Ms. Cody writes another movie like this, I hope she can again enlighten us by defining the word “hack.”



Official website:

Jennifer's Body


Directed by: Karyn Kusama
Written by: Diablo Cody
Cast: Megan Fox, Amanda Seyfried, J.K Simmons

Source of the Bitter: John Rojas

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