Embrace the bitter and post your own reviews!

"Meat Market" proves that indie zombie movies can be absolutely terrible, too!

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review, Meat Market  Bitter,Bitterometer,meter Meat Market
 

“Meat Market” is one of those terrible examples of a poorly made indie films that just so happens to be 90+ minutes long and qualifies for feature film status. What’s worse is that Netflix sees it fit to negotiate for streaming rights. Short of a long rant, this means that Netflix will stream anything that qualifies as a feature film no matter how bad it is.

“Meat Market” is an elementary example of filmmaking at best. The "film makers" of this film take the zombie genre and make it as cheesy in it’s poor DV style as it could be. This even includes an extremely poor monologue-ish moment with a guy who says, “fuck,” thirty-too-many times. Honestly, it's quite embracing.

The performances, editing, writing and directing are so sub-par we couldn’t suggest this poor excuse for a film even as a joke. There are gratuitous boob shots, but again, so poorly done we can only hope for death before the end of the scene arrives.

We could go on for paragraphs on how terrible this film is, but why bother? This film is horrid. Everyone involved is terrible. The only reason to watch this film is if you hate yourself so much you want to drive yourself to suicide.

Basically… STAY AWAY!

P.S. Shitty film makers everywhere please read the following… burrito jokes are not funny and bites into flesh that sound like biting into an apple aren’t either fun, original or realistic.

If you can’t make a movie well, or right, then please, PLEASE, PLEASE don’t bother.





Source of the Bitter: JAS

Comments, rants and other stuffs below
JAS on Thu, 04/07/2011 - 11:06pm

Also note that there are "luchador" jokes too. Seriously, this movie proves that even Uwe Boll should eventually be up for an Academy Award.

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