Nightmare on Elm Street (Remake)
Whatever you do – don’t fall asleep! This is what we’d like to think the producers of the “Nightmare on Elm Street” remake are warning us, but we know that once our asses are in those seats, they have our money and don’t care.
The trailer starts off decently enough. We get a few spooky settings and Freddy being chased down and burned to the crispy critter we all know and loathe, er, love.
We get some shots of the victims-to-be, who seem like your typical teenage cast (not necessarily a bad thing). There’s a pool party shot, making me think they are going to throw in some “Nightmare on Elm Street 2” in there as well.
It’s all well and good until crap shows its face. In this case, it’s Freddy. When we finally get a glimpse of the star of the show, we learn two things. 1. Jackie Earle Haley can’t do the Freddy voice. 2. His makeup is probably going to be pretty lame.
Once you see Michael Bay’s name in the credits, you can safely assume that the film will be fluff-packed. although he did a good job on the “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” remake. (Dear Zod! Did I just give Bay a compliment!?!)
So what are my thoughts on this?
I’m not expecting much. I would love to think that the remake will be great - maybe better than the original - but this will not be the case. I would argue that Robert Englund is replaceable, but after hearing the new Freddy’s voice, I would be wrong. Dead wrong.
However, if you’re a horror fan, just watch it because there’s nothing of quality coming out these days. Take what you can get. For everyone else, avoid it – you already know what it’s like to hand Bay your near-$10. It never turns out well.
Oh, yeah... What is the deal with him sounding like he's wearing a over-sized retainer???
Here is the trailer, so you can see for yourself how Bay wasted yet another few minutes of your life.