Pirhana's 3D - Three dimensions of cheese and gore!

September 15, 2010 -- Source of bitter: JAS

Piranha(2010)

When Jaws failed to chew Richard Dreyfuss to shreds 35 ago, the piranhas decided to finish the job - and finish him they do.

After a small earthquake opens a watery rift, a school of prehistoric piranhas come out to play. By “play,” we mean “devour the living crap out of everyone in the water. “ Naturally, their reintroduction to the modern world is timed exactly with spring break.

Bitter Balcony cares not about the gimmicky story line; we want to see some gimmicky horror to go with the gimmicky 3D (with some '80s cheese as a side dish). “Piranha” succeeds at all the above. It hearkens back to a era when horror was all about blood, guts, boobs, and young ladies screaming for their lives (thankfully we are treated to latter more than a few times).

When Eli Roth and Jerry O'Connell make an appearance, we crossed our fingers and waited for the moment they’re destroyed. Roth pays the price for ruining a great role in "Inglorious Basterds" and O'Connell pays the price for… well, being O'Connell.

The cast for this beast is quite interesting. Aside from Dreyfuss, Roth and O'Connell, “Piranha” tosses in Elisabeth Shue, Ving Rhames and Christopher Lloyd. What are the odds of getting these people together for a campy movie?

“Piranha” has gore: faces get ripped off, bodies torn in half, and heads explode - and that’s just to mention a few scenes. There is also a boob shot approximately every two minutes, and even a surprise shot we won't mention here, but we were surprised they showed it in a Hollywood film… twice! All this classy content in glorious cheddar-cheesy 3D.

As to whether or not to see “Piranha,” Bitter Balcony gives it a “yes.” In 3D and on the big screen, and just go in expecting shit. If you are a fan of really bad, and we mean bad, '80s horror then you'll dig it. Otherwise, avoid it like "Glitter.”

Trailer: