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RE4 - Afterlife - unswallowable piece of crap [User Review]

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review, 2010Paul W.S. AndersonPaul W.S. AndersonMilla JovovichCapcom Bitter,Bitterometer,meter Resident Evil 4 - Afterlife (2010)

Un-swallowable crap in your face.

I know this day would come. We all know it. we have all seen a money making cow being milked to beef jerkies before. But when it actually happens I am still feeling strongly about, err, the money and time I lost. Watching "Resident Evil: Afterlife" is so far the most regrettable cinema experience I have had this year; it is so bad that I kept walking out and in pretending to have toilet break, just to avoid having an aneurism outburst.
I had very little expectation to this movie in particular; I was a fan to RE the game as 1,2,3, for its dark atmosphere and hopeless zombie theme. It didn’t really get to extend to the movie that much after the first movie – the movie serious is largely a fancy action flick where this unknown character, Alice, being an experimental product and superhero, jumping around using weapons and then superpower to kill zombies. Around RE3 they try to rub back some in-game characters to attract the game lovers, but ultimately the movie is a monster of its own; you watch pretty chicks, being Milla and others, running and shooting.
That can’t be too bad, right?

"Resident Evil 4", afterlife, is the ultimate stinker. It is bad in every single aspect: the story is hallow and lazy; the dialogue is dumb; the characters were cheesy; the directing is amateur; the acting is C class, the cinematography is cardboard-like. It is a cow milked to beef jerky now; it is a fast food production with attitude. ‘I want your money, NOW’ is written all over it.

Alice this time runs all over the place with full make up on her face; blood red lips and dark eye lines and so much hair jel for the curves; whenever she strike a pose the movie viewer will notice the big piece of blue screen there, the CGI add-on is so lazy and low quality; I don’t even know should I laugh or should I cry; there are so many slow-mo in the movie for the action, so many that I feel like they are purposely doing it so they can stretch a 40min movie into a feature length film. Yes, it's that much. The actions and the editing associated with them were so poor, it looked like "Team American" was doing a better job. Seriously , that's the only reason majority of the people are paying for the ticket for; and apparently a Hong Kong action director is too expensive to get? Writer/director Paul W.S. Anderson is now permanently on my black list, after "Alien vs Preditor" now this, he should be fired as director and work in the cinema cleaning spits on the carpet.

The movie had an approximate 60 million dollar budget, but still managed to have cheap cheap cheap marks all over it. it is not worth the ticket, not worth the time and not worth my junkfood snacks. I have no food comparison to this movie; Crap is the only word that comes to mind because it's that perfect a label for this film.

If you decided to have this piece of crap presented to you in 3D, you are on your own.




Credits:
Directed by: Paul W.S. Anderson
Written by: Paul W.S. Anderson
Based on work(s) by: Capcom
Cast: Milla Jovovich


Source of the Bitter: Que

Comments, rants and other stuffs below
JAS on Thu, 10/14/2010 - 2:18pm

How much Blade was this piece of shit? Because it looks a lot less like a Resident Evil and a lot more like a bad Blade knockoff.

Que on Sun, 10/17/2010 - 3:41pm

To me it looks rather like a Matrix knock-off, the slow-mos, and the bullet time, and breaking window and fall down, the building jump, but it is all too much and too pale with nasty after taste to it.

and the bad guy dress like Agent Smith, wearing sunglasses like Agent Smith and even look and talk like agent smith. the only different moment is when he spit some alien tentacles from his mouth and Alice blew his head out which was completely lame.

I will have to say, sadly, that Bullet-moment is no longer a cool thing.

JAS on Sun, 10/17/2010 - 3:55pm

I can see that happening. Matrix imitators are lame, but then what can we expect from Anderson. The man hasn't made a good movie in ages, so naturally he'd try to imitate a new one.

I really hope this series dies here. They should have stopped ever since they fucked up Nemesis, the character, in the first sequel.

Bullet-time should have stopped at Matrix unless it really serves a purpose.

Que on Sun, 10/17/2010 - 4:01pm

I think the commercial drive behind the production is 'to let people see bullet time in 3D!'. but unfortunately 3D doesn't make shit movie better.

JAS on Wed, 10/20/2010 - 10:00am

But it has a whole extra dimension? Sheesh, what more do you want?

If only quality could be that "extra dimension" huh?