Embrace the bitter and post your own reviews!

A review of a movie or TV show.

Green Lantern First Flight - like a little bird flower ready to blossom

 
Green Lantern (2009)

"Green Lantern” follows, er, Green Lantern… Actually, the story covers how Hal Jordon acquired the ring and his struggle to become a part of the Green Lantern Corps. Listen, this story was written waaay back when, so some suspension of disbelief is in order. There are other things to forgive - such as trusting a man named Sinestro. Really? No one sees this coming? I thought they were a super-advanced alien race around since before time.

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Whiteout - They should have used it in this script!

 
Whiteout (2009)

I am the wind and the snow. As the snow, I cloud all that can be, covered under a thin veil. I nip at the butts of actors as they try to perform in a two-dimensional farce. And as the wind I blow, just like this movie . . .

First, the tagline for “Whiteout” (according to imdb.com) is “See your last breath”. Had I read this before I watched the film, I would have watched something more captivating, like “Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs”.

The movie is about U.S. marshal Carrie Stetko (Kate Beckinsale), who is working in Antarctica and wants to quit her job. I know. What a stretch.

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Unknown (Dis)Pleasures: BB gets Torn Apart by Control!

 

Control

Joy Division emerged from the ashes of glam and the advent of punk in the late ‘70s and during their brief run became one of England's greatest rock groups. The new wave quartet was the bridge between David Bowie and The Smiths, and at the center was Ian Curtis, the band's frontman and main lyricist.

Curtis, who had bouts with epilepsy, depression and medications, hanged himself in his home in 1980. Like Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin, Curtis' premature death lifted him into rock immortality, gathering a flock of music lovers to pay respect to the band's haunting tunes and Curtis' morbid, frail poetry.

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I've Been BFF'D Big Time! Jennifer's Body LOL Review!

 

Jennifer's Body

“Jennifer’s Body” will be remembered as the first screenplay ever written on Twitter. At least that's how desperately this movie's dialogue tries to identify with the BFF generation. Whatever wit “Jennifer’s Body” has is drowned by Megan Fox reciting lines such as "that's so emo" or "player hater" (along those lines, I'm an old man).

Unfortunately, screenwriter Diablo Cody gets to have more than the allowed 140 Twitter characters, leaving director Karyn Kusama to scavenge around this wannabe cult film with a script meant for Sarah Michelle Gellar back in her “Buffy” days and the acting prowess of Ms. Fox.

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Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along-Blog - sing it you evil bastard!

 
Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along-Blog

“Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along-Blog” follows the genesis of Dr. Horrible, an up-and-coming (read: constantly thwarted) supervillain who is taping a blog on his villainous exploits. Of course, sending your plots to your not-so-adoring fans doesn’t seem smart, but this is the usual “shark with frickin’ lasers” variety of villain (the kind with half-wit henchmen who never seem to get it together). It also features Captain Hammer, the self-centered superhero of the bunch who loves making Horrible’s quests for evil glory fail miserably.

Neil Patrick Harris plays Dr. Horrible who does admirable duty as a singing fool of a villain. Although there’s no real meat in any of the roles, the actors seem to have fun. Felicia Day plays Penny, the love interest caught between the two arch villains. Who is Horrible’s nemesis? Why none other than the poorly costumed Captain Hammer (played by Nathan Fillion).

Available on ITunes.

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Undercover (Oh!) Brother: Bitter Balcony wiretaps The Informant!

 
The Informant!

Who would think that in times like these, corporate crime could provide a chuckle? Steven Soderbergh gives it a go in “The Informant!,” a comedy of errors about the true story of whistle-blower Mark Whitacre (Matt Damon). Whitacre was a biochemist who in the early ‘90s collaborated with the FBI on the price-fixing investigation against ADM, the corporation in charge of the production of corn syrup among other operations.

Whitacre is a devoted family guy who hesitantly puts his livelihood on the line to expose ADM for their illegal acts. FBI agents Shepard (Scott Bakula) and Herndon (Joel McHale) are pumped to have a key witness at their disposal, but little do they know that dealing with Whitacre might be more trouble than what its worth.

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The Time Traveler’s Wife or How I learned to give up on a real relationship and love the guy who abandons me repeatedly

 

“The Time Traveler’s Wife”

This review will be handled a little differently than most of the others. It will start off with the movie from the perspective of a woman and then from the perspective of a man. Then I’ll tie the whole thing together with a bitter rant about romance. Ready? I sure hope so…

From a man’s POV:

It’s obvious that a woman would want the unattainable. Clare is probably thinking that “she” can be The One - The One to keep him in one place, er time, because she is THAT special and their bond is sooo… yaaaaawn.

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