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A review of a movie or TV show.

Batman: Dead End

 
Batman: Dead End

There are times that a fan film comes along and knocks you on your ass. This is that film. It is hard to really write about this short film without ruining the surprises held within.

This film was made under the direction of Sandy Collora and premiered in 2003 at the San Diego Comic Con. It stars Clark Bartram as the Batman and Andrew Koenig as the Joker. Joker escapes into a dark alley where Batman reaches him and they square off with some choice words. Then surprise the Fit hits the Shan in one of the most creative twists this author has probably ever seen!

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UN-Funny People

 
Funny People

Good evning y’all! This afternoon I’ll be teachin ya how to make an Apatow/Sandler stew.

This is a combination of two stews. The recently popular Apatow stew and the time-tested Sandler stew. Each one has their mandatory ingredients. These ingredients make the stews we expect, but is a combination of the two a good one? We’ll see.

Apatow stew requires the following:
3 cup – Penis jokes
1/3 cup – Fart jokes
2 Cups – Seth Rogen not getting laid jokes
1 tablespoon - Bad acting and typical scripting of Jonah Hill’s dialog
5 Tablespoons – Rogen having friends that give him pointers on getting laid.
At least 1 Cup – Mention of Rogen loosing weight

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Dragon Ball Z (Z being the grade of this movie)

 

Dragon Ball Z: Evolution

This is the reason I work for Bitter Balcony. Masterpieces like this are the gems that I live for. Lets get on with it shall we?

This is the story of a boy who has one ball searching for little green man with the aide of a delusional martial artist and a 20-year-old P.H.D. that has a minor in small tactical weapons. The green man is searching for his balls and will kill anyone that gets in his way. I’m sure I’d be this upset if someone else had my balls, er, of the dragon and the Z variety. Sure, sure. You are thinking you’ve seen this before. The thing is you probably have since you have likely seen crap before, any crap will do.

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Bitter Balcony inspects District 9 and likes what it finds!!!

 

District 9

Illegal Immigration is one of the polarizing and conflicting social-political issues facing the world. How does a country face the coming of people of a different race and economic circumstances and to what degree does that country balance the integration of foreigners while looking after it's own interests? And for these immigrants, to survive in a land that refrains to accept them in the lowest of conditions, to what extent can their self preservation be tried? In Peter Jackson's latest project, District 9, these and many questions are raised under the pretense of a gripping, raw, action/sci-fi faux-documentary directed by Neill Blomkamp. District 9 feels so uncomfortably real that you could imagine Anderson Cooper roaming around for some CNN special report.

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Alien Trespass...ed on 90 minutes of my life!

 

Alien Trespass

Ever entertain the idea of what a director from the 50’s would do with today’s FX? Well wonder no further. This movie proves this is a bad idea.

The story follows an alien crash landing on Earth and some evil alien that was being transported to another planet getting out. Urp (the good alien) takes over the body of Ted Lewis and begins his hunt for the creature. He must capture it before it destroys the world. A cookie-cutter story, but it was this typical story that is supposed to be its entertaining part.

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Tears of the Sun - Oh, how they burn.

 

Tears of the Sun

The movie starts off with the SEALs returning from a mission only to be sent out again. Before the first act is up the movie can pretty much wrap. They get the Dr. and reach the extraction point. This can raise an eyebrow at first, but then you see what the movie is really about. It’s about these soldiers facing the fact that extracting the Dr. and leaving the rest of the people she was helping behind is not an option. This is the real problem with the film. It almost feels less like they are doing it for the people and more like Waters (Willis) is doing it because of a woman.

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Training Day... from hell!

 
Training Day

Warning: Sensitive Denzel fans beware! If you get emotional over reviewers that can form opinions other than “Denzel is amazing” then just stop reading.

What we have here is a movie about Jake Hoyt’s (Ethan Hawke) first day on the job with Alonzo Harris (Denzel Washington) teaching him the ways of the mean streets he’ll be working on. Hoyt the straight and narrow must learn that sometimes you have to bend the rules in order to keep the laws he’s meant to protect.

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