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A review of a movie or TV show.

The Mesrine Saga shows that the French do have Grandes Boules!!!

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review, Mesrine: The Killer Instinct/Public Enemy #1 2008Jean-François Richet, Abdel Raouf DafriJean-François RichetVincent CasselJacques Mesrine (novel Bitter,Bitterometer,meter Mesrine: The Killer Instinct/Public Enemy #1(2008)
 

Vincent Cassel is a bad-ass. Any man who claims Italian Goddess Monica Bellucci his own while outshining George Clooney and Brad Pitt in “Ocean’s 12” deserves such entitlement. Cassel, whose made a career out of playing thieves in his native France, has an innate deviance behind his striking presence that one wonders if he would've taken a life of crime if not for his thespian talents.

Fittingly, Cassel is the only choice imaginable for the role of Jacques Mesrine, an infamous French outlaw whose two decade reign in the criminal underworld included numerous bank robberies, murders, and perhaps his ultimate claim to fame, four prison escapes. Mesrine, whose unrepentant criminal ways were matched by his undeniable charisma and cynical humor, makes him deserving of a cinematic testimony. Two movies on his antics are delivered, “The Killer Instinct” and “Public Enemy #1”. So, is this iconic gangster’s legend worth the “deux” treatment?

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Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part Deux! The end at last!

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 2 2011David YatesDaniel Radcliffe,Rupert Grint,Emma Watson,Alan Rickman,John Hurts,Ralph Fiennes Bitter,Bitterometer,meter Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 2(2011)
 

At long last it has arrived. After a decade of filmmaking and an aging cast we get the last installment to the Harry Potter series. We’ve seen the cast grow and mature much the same as the characters they play. So after ten years of waiting for an ending does it live up to our expectations? This is a mixed bag, but mostly positive.

Harry Potter and his friends reach the conclusion of their wizardly adventure, at least that we’ll see, and Potter himself must face his final challenge. A simply illustrated description of what is essentially just before and following through the ending of the final book in the series.

Direction of the film by David Yates is good enough, but we still wish someone with more of a grander vision would’ve closed out the series. It’s not that the work is bad, but more that there is such a rich world created by Rowlings that we can imagine how it could be a more creative/intriguing movie. Yates manages to do what has to be done and for the most part delivers what we were hoping for.

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Damn Yankee: Captain America gets BB all Patriotic!!!

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review, Captain America: The First Avenger 2011Stephen McFeely, Christopher Markus	Joe JohnstonChris Evans, Tommy Lee JonesJack Kirby, Joe Simon Bitter,Bitterometer,meter Captain America: The First Avenger(2011)
 

Among the lowlights from the 1990’s, like wearing your pants and sports jersey backwards or Vanilla Ice’s bottom bargain bin “Cold As Ice,” is Albert Pyun’s horrendous “Captain America.” This film featured J.D Salinger’s son Matt Salinger as the Star Spangled protector and a plastic surgery repaired Red Skull, whose head stays red in the movie as long as Holden Caulfield spends “The Cather in The Rye” not bitter( forgive my weak attempt to link one of America's most beloved writers with a guy who wears our flag's colors as spandex). This early version of “Captain America” hopefully remains in VHS format, so when some fanboy orders a copy from Singapore, TSA would prevent a catastrophic act of terror by simply swiping the video with a magnet. So, if a twenty one year wait for a film to do Cap justice was called for, we are glad to report that Joe Johnston’s new “Captain America: The First Avenger” is a steady action/drama worthy of one of Marvel’s oldest Comic heroes.

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Skyline - Crap is on the horizon!

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review, Skyline 2010Colin Strause,Greg StrauseEric Balfour,Scottie Thompson, David Zayas Bitter,Bitterometer,meter Skyline(2010)
 

I’ve started writing this review three times. Each one of those three times I have been stumped as to how to go about it. It’s not that I debate whether the movie is good or bad. It is clearly a bad film, but how to describe why it sucks in an entertaining manner.

First the movie follows a cast of characters from “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” and “Clueless”, so they were already clutching at straws when they were casting this film. Do they do a horrible job? No. Do they do a good job? No. They show up, read their lines, try to look interested in the project then cash their checks on the way home. This is almost an acceptable response from any actors who read the script for this movie. It was clearly going to be forgotten before it even past its opening night.

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Transformers 3 - Same shit no matter what turd it transforms into

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review, Transformers: Dark of the Moon 2011Ehren KrugerMichael BayShai LeBeouf,John Malkovich,Frances McDormand,Josh Duhamel,John Turturro,Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Bitter,Bitterometer,meter Transformers: Dark of the Moon(2011)
 

Ass hits the seat, lights go out, trailers finish and another torturous session begins. We start off forced to believe that there was an Autobot ship that crashed into the moon and no one ever thought to mention it in the first or second movie. Furthermore, we are to also believe that Mr. Witwicky has yet another drop dead gorgeous girlfriend. Last I saw, Shai LeBeouf was a nerd at best and in the Transformer’s films he doesn’t even have fame to back it up. Naturally, things start off ridiculous.

The story features yet another threat that could give the Decepticons another edge to defeat the Autobots and take over Earth. Sentinel is brought back from the moon and revived only to betray the Autobots. Somehow the Autobot ship brought with it twenty or so Decepticons and, “Hey, look at that,” no Autobots. The Decepticons bring on the troops and plan on taking over Earth’s resources to rebuild their broken world. The writing is nothing more than a few gallons of dribble to get you from one showpiece to the next.

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Déjà Brew: BB gets wasted with The Hangover Part II!!!

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review, The Hangover Part II  2011Todd Phillips, Scot Armstrong, Craig MazinTodd PhillipsBradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis Bitter,Bitterometer,meter The Hangover Part II (2011)
 

To paraphrase Samuel L. Jackson’s bad M.F Jules Winfield, an alcoholic’s moment of clarity came to me while watching “The Hangover Part II.” I realized I have seen this movie before, when it was titled…“The Hangover.” As conventional wisdom suggests “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”, the same seemingly applies when continuing a story that quite frankly was a one shot deal. In fairness, what else could they have done, especially after the first adventure of our trashed heroes was a brilliantly raunchy and crude comedy classic?

The major alterations this time around: the Wolfpack (Bradley Cooper as cocky cool guy Phil, Ed Helms as the milquetoast dentist with a wild side Stu, and Zack Galifianakis as man-child Alan) are now stuck in exotic city of Bangkok, Thailand, replacing the vibrant lights of Las Vegas. Instead of losing their friend Doug (Justin Bartha) who now helps the guys from a resort, the trice is in search of Stu’s finance’s kid brother after another insane night of drunken stupor.

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Green Lantern - Emerald Energy is not the green Hollywood is hoping for.

Bitter, Bitter Balcony, Movie Review, Green Lantern 2011Greg Berlanti,Michael GoldenbergMartin CampbellRyan Reynolds,Blake Lively,Peter Sarsgaard,Tim Robbins,Mark Strong Bitter,Bitterometer,meter Green Lantern(2011)
 

It would be best to start this review with explaining that what you see in the trailer is what you get in the film. Anyone expecting depth, a dark/serious treatment of Green Lantern or for this movie to be a “Dark Knight” should watch the trailer once more because a Christopher Nolan film this is not. No, this is a super hero movie with heavy sci-fi involved in the story.

The movie, like any popcorn movie, is flimsy in depth and heavy on special effects. When you consider that we are watching a movie about a guy who creates giant hack hammers, trampolines and racecars to save people and fight bad guys you need to realize there is only so serious you can tell the tale. While I’m not totally unaware of the backstory for Hal Jordan, beside a few comics I read two decades ago, I can assume that most elements are pretty close to the original tale.

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